In a world where the lines between reality and absurdity blur, a tale unfolds of how President Donald Trump, in a move that left the nation agape, orchestrated the grandest heist in history, relieving tech titans Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos of their vast fortunes.

It all began on Inauguration Day, January 20, 2025. The air was thick with anticipation as Trump took the oath of office, flanked by the likes of Zuckerberg and Bezos, whose combined wealth was nearly $900 billion. Little did they know, their fortunes were about to vanish faster than free Wi-Fi at a coffee shop.

The Executive Orders

The day after the inauguration, as the nation celebrated, Trump's administration enacted a series of executive orders so convoluted and bewildering that even the most seasoned economists scratched their heads. These orders, shrouded in mystery, led to an unprecedented market upheaval. Stocks plummeted, and the tech sector bore the brunt of the chaos.

Zuckerberg's net worth took a nosedive, dropping by $5 billion, while Bezos fared no better, losing $29 billion in the ensuing months. The once-mighty fortunes of these tech moguls evaporated, leaving them pondering how their wealth had been siphoned away.

The Fallout

In a twist that could only be described as poetic justice, Trump's policies, intended to "drain the swamp," had inadvertently created a financial drought for the very billionaires who had once basked in the swamp's murky waters. The nation watched in awe as the tech titans, now mere mortals, navigated a world without their former riches.

Tech Tycoons Respond

Bezos, known for his strategic business acumen, was caught off guard. "I've built rockets, disrupted retail, and created a cloud empire, but I never saw this coming," he reportedly said while selling his collection of vintage spaceships on eBay.

Zuckerberg, meanwhile, was seen updating his Facebook status to "It's complicated" regarding his relationship with his bank account. Sources close to the Meta founder claim he's considering a pivot to MySpace-style web design as a side hustle.

Economic Experts Weigh In

Financial analysts around the world struggled to explain the phenomenon. Harvard economist Dr. Eleanor Rigby commented, "It's like watching a magic trick where the magician makes billions disappear without using sleight of hand or offshore accounts. It defies conventional economic theory."

Wall Street veterans were equally perplexed. "We've seen bubbles burst before, but this is like watching champagne turn into tap water mid-pour," remarked investment guru Warren Buffington.

A Lesson in Humility

The story serves as a satirical reminder of the unpredictable nature of politics and the economy, where today's winners can swiftly become tomorrow's losers, all at the stroke of a presidential pen.

As for the tech billionaires? They're reportedly considering a joint venture: a modest food truck specializing in avocado toast and humble pie.